A very simple gesture of a handshake to diffuse a hostile situation

I was standing at the ATM on the South Mall in Cork and suddenly from behind me I heard a booming voice “Excuse me, excuse me”.

When I turned around it was a guy on a bike shouting at people to get out out of his way as he sped through.

One of the pedestrians quite rightly had an issue with this speeding cyclist who should have kept his racing for the road and suddenly the two of them were arguing.

The cyclist was way out of order so I jumped to the pedestrians defence.

He’s right, what are you doing racing on the footpath?” I said.

Suddenly he’s in my face, a tall guy, one of these triathlon types, dressed in black from head to toe.

What’s your problem, tell me, tell me-I was being polite, I said excuse me

I responded “You were roaring, and besides, you shouldn’t have been cycling on the footpath

He came closer to me and repeated what he already said. I repeated what I said and he repeated what he said, getting closer again. This was only going to escalate.

I looked at him and told him it was a waste of time talking to him if he couldn’t get the point about cycling on the footpath and I turned to walk away.

He came after me and once again he was repeating what he had already said “What’s your problem, I was being polite

This was pointless …I looked at this tall guy, all fired up and from nowhere I found myself offering my hand to shake his. This could go either way, but it was one way of breaking the cycle (pardon the pun!)

He looked puzzled for a second and then met me in a handshake. I said “hey man, calm down, it’s a Friday

He smiled and said “you are right, that’s what I call great conflict resolution!

He then hugged me and said he probably shouldn’t have been on the footpath and we both wished each other a good weekend and parted ways.

My spontaneous gesture surprised even me, and I was amazed at how quickly it diffused something that could have easily turned ugly.

It turns out a handshake is hard to resist as we are programmed to treat it like a gesture of kindness or friendship – try it !!

Greg

Greg is a partner at Fuzion Communications, a full service Marketing and PR agency with offices in Dublin and Cork, Ireland

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