Recently I have had the pleasure of meeting (virtually!) and doing some business with a very wise man, Kevin Fahey.
Each and every time we would have a chat he would leave me with some pearls of wisdom and when I learnt that this positive, always pushing forward, optimistic businessman was 75 I just had to ask him to come on my podcast.
Kevin is the CEO and Founder of Peer to Peer coaching company, Essence of Leadership.
Kevin came from a family farm, he went into the Irish clothing manufacturing industry and after a board room battle he found himself at home, unemployed.
Never a man to stand still Kevin started off a successful training company and was once labelled a Positive Psychopath by one of his clients. Like so many other businesses the recession that followed the Celtic Tiger crash, had him once again wondering where the next few bob was going to come from.
He talks about very dark days and struggling at times to lift himself from the bed in the morning, but he did, one foot at a time.
Kevin reinvented himself, and with all of his collective wisdom and experience he remodelled his business following the simple principle that often the wisdom that we are searching for actually sits within us. He explains why and how peer to peer coaching is so powerful, in particular for business owners and senior managers.
As I have been very recently grappling with a big birthday number, we also chatted about ageism and moving into “wisdom” and based on his energy and drive I think I am just a young fella still!
Kevin talks so much sense and I hope you can take the time to listen to our chat – you will be better for it, I promise.
Greg
The Win Happy podcast is available on all podcast Apps and on Spotify.
Another one of these totally and utterly irrelevant cold “call” emails has cluttered my inbox.
They vary in style and content but the things they have in common are:
I have no idea who they are
There is no need for the services being offered
They all use this “cool”, familiar language
Here was today’s example..
Hi Greg,
Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to connect yet.
I understand; life gets busy.
I hope you don’t take offense to my persistence since I would love to learn more about the prospecting & outreach process in your company and see if we have any points of potential synergy.
(Company name) could help you accelerate your outreach efforts by automating the tedious manual tasks and spending extra time hiring.
Let’s jump into the demo and we’ll discuss everything?
Best,
Anastasiia from (Company Name)
In a world where we are all so busy, how can any company justify employing people to blindly harass poorly researched prospects and in doing so, damage their own brand?
“Welcome” I said and I reached out to hug her to make her feel welcome.
Suddenly I had an aggressive finger being pointed in my face and eyes of fire glaring back at me.
“I don’t do hugs” she said.
I stood there for a few seconds quite confused, thinking this was some kind of a joke, until I realised it wasn’t!!
I was totally taken aback as this is a person we knew and would have considered to have had a “good” relationship with before this interaction, and in fact there would have been routine goodbye hugs the last time we had met.
This incident happened many years ago and at the time it totally floored me. My nature is to be warm and friendly and a “signal” of this would have been a hug, one of my ways of conveying a genuine welcome.
Instead of reflecting on what I considered to be the positive aspects (at least I thought so) of my personality, I did the opposite and ever since greetings have been cautious and it has brought out a much more guarded Greg. And of course then we had Covid, which added an even bigger barrier between people and how we greeted each other.
Walking the dog with my headphones on just this weekend, I stumbled upon an episode of the wonderful podcast, ‘Heavyweight’ called “Cody” , which touched on the subject of hugs and I am so grateful for what I heard.
Basically, a kid who lost his mum suddenly received a random, huge hug from his football coach who he barely knew and he claims that it changed his life.
He was lost and hurting and this hug was exactly what he needed from someone, in fact anyone, and his coach delivered just that.
Neither of these men were “huggers” but they both realised at big moments in their lives, the power of a genuine hug, and since then it is part of their daily practice to be generous with warm hugs to their friends and colleagues and also, not to be afraid to say “I love you” when it’s appropriate.
To the producers of this podcast, thank you and to anyone I have had an encounter with since that very odd interaction, I sincerely apologize for being guarded and I hope you were still made to feel welcome by me.
I was standing at the ATM on the South Mall in Cork and suddenly from behind me I heard a booming voice “Excuse me, excuse me”.
When I turned around it was a guy on a bike shouting at people to get out out of his way as he sped through.
One of the pedestrians quite rightly had an issue with this speeding cyclist who should have kept his racing for the road and suddenly the two of them were arguing.
The cyclist was way out of order so I jumped to the pedestrians defence.
“He’s right, what are you doing racing on the footpath?” I said.
Suddenly he’s in my face, a tall guy, one of these triathlon types, dressed in black from head to toe.
“What’s your problem, tell me, tell me-I was being polite, I said excuse me”
I responded “You were roaring, and besides, you shouldn’t have been cycling on the footpath”
He came closer to me and repeated what he already said. I repeated what I said and he repeated what he said, getting closer again. This was only going to escalate.
I looked at him and told him it was a waste of time talking to him if he couldn’t get the point about cycling on the footpath and I turned to walk away.
He came after me and once again he was repeating what he had already said “What’s your problem, I was being polite”
This was pointless …I looked at this tall guy, all fired up and from nowhere I found myself offering my hand to shake his. This could go either way, but it was one way of breaking the cycle (pardon the pun!)
He looked puzzled for a second and then met me in a handshake. I said “hey man, calm down, it’s a Friday”
He smiled and said “you are right, that’s what I call great conflict resolution! “
He then hugged me and said he probably shouldn’t have been on the footpath and we both wished each other a good weekend and parted ways.
My spontaneous gesture surprised even me, and I was amazed at how quickly it diffused something that could have easily turned ugly.
It turns out a handshake is hard to resist as we are programmed to treat it like a gesture of kindness or friendship – try it !!
I was listening to a fascinating conversation on a podcast with the founder of Toms Shoes, Blake Mycoskie who was sharing his career story including the incredible story of where the idea of Toms Shoes came from, the powerful notion of giving away a free pair of shoes to those who badly needed shoes for every pair they sold and how this idea caught on and quickly led to a legendary success.
At the close of the chat he was asked to give some advice to the listener and he shared a phrase that he lives by “Carpe Diem”, or seize the day.
His basic philosophy is that life is precious, we have no idea how long it will last so make the most of each and every day.
A little habit he uses to remind people of this advice is to sign off all of his emails with the phrase “Carpe Diem” instead of other meaningless salutations such as yours sincerely, kind regards or even my more casual one “cheers” – I do hate formality!
The cynic might think what is that fella all about but this is really clever as it is using a frequent method of everyday communication to replace something meaningless with something meaningful and possibly trigger a positive thought or emotion for the reader.
I was chatting with the fantastic Paul Born of the Tamarack Institute in Canada on my Win Happy podcast and he does something similar but uses equally powerful words “Much joy” – why not spread joy and remind people of joy each and every single day?
Taking all of this onboard I’ve started to sign off all of my emails with the words “Win Happy” which is my core philosophy – I want people to succeed, whatever success looks like for them but to go about this in a way that makes them and those round them happy. If we all lived by that approach I think life would be better and more positive, in particular our working lives.
And taking this one step further maybe even (when appropriate of course) sign off your social media posts with a hashtag with your “words” – if that’s what you believe let people know.
My challenge for you is to think about replacing your meaningless closing salutation and replacing it with something meaningful.
It might get a few strange reactions to begin with but at least it will give people something to remember you by, something to think about and maybe, just maybe, create a shift in their day.
We are reading about the need for taking more care, not going back to the workplace, socialising less and the need for possible regular antigen tests to keep us safe. Fancy a stick up your nose three times a week?
We are reading about Covid sweeping through our schools with students and teachers alike falling with the disease.
We are reading about how the hospitals are under severe pressure with over half of the serious Covid cases being unvaccinated people who have fallen seriously ill and the other half being vaccinated people with underlying conditions. (92% of the adult population are vaccinated – the numbers are clear).
We know 100% that the hospitals are rammed with Covid patients and as a result normal procedures are being postponed and god love anyone who goes there with an emergency case.
We are also reading that the unvaccinated are a big part of the problem, allowing the disease to spread more and possibly mutate.
A restaurant or venue owner is obliged to ask customers for their Vaccine passport and proof of ID but they are not permitted to ask their own team members if they are vaccinated ..”invasion of privacy“.
Do we not have a duty of care towards our employees?
We are reading about huge protests in Rotterdam and Vienna as people are freaking out about the necessary restrictions that have been introduced – angry with the wrong people?
If more severe restrictions are introduced here, no doubt people and businesses will be freaking out and all of this will be aimed at NPHET and the government, who will only be doing this to keep people safe and our hospitals functioning.
Maybe it is time to stop pussyfooting around, enough of the “PC” stuff and if we want to get out of this Covid mess and keep our loved ones safe and our businesses open it is time to focus our messaging on those who have so far been unwilling to vaccinate.
Maybe not quite “boot in” but it is time to apply some real peer pressure because it is needed.
Instead of the various lobby groups pressurising the government, maybe it is time to start focusing on those members of the general public who are not playing ball and putting everyone at risk and our lives on hold and livelihoods at risk.
Instead of being angry at the government, maybe it is time for us to start talking to family, friends and colleagues and encourage them to keep us safe. (instead we are all dancing around them gently- it’s their right)
If the unvaccinated are the biggest part of the problem, let’s tackle this head on and stop trying to solve it by tinkering with other measures that won’t deliver a solution.
We’ve all seen the advert about wearing a seatbelt..
I just received a significant piece of correspondence from the bank I have been with for 40 years.
It was important, great, huge even, but it captures in a nutshell how far we have come from the bank where you knew your manager and there was a genuine relationship, to the one that exists today, which is nothing but a connection to an entity that just processes transactions.
My significant letter starts with..
“Dear Customer(s)..
Even though it was written to me this generic piece of auto generated crap didn’t use my name and tried to cover itself with an “s” in plural just in case the generic BS correspondence was intended for more than one person.
As well as the humbo jumbo in the middle section which did include a “thank you for your business” message there was some technical stuff with no effort at providing an actual relevant contact person if I had a query about any of it.
And then it signed off .., with a
“Your sincerely“
that’s another joke, this was auto generated.
and then the “person” who sent it.
“The Manager“ , no name, and no actual signature (does this possibly make this correspondence invalid?).
The only contact details on the letter was a phone number in Dublin – I can imagine how far I would get if I called the number and asked to speak to the person who sent me the letter.
I’m fairly sure I would get a “your call is being recorded“.
Oh, I forgot to mention what was included in the humbo jumbo, a pure classic..
“Should you require any further details or other AIB products please do not hesitate to contact your Relationship Manager at your local branch”
Hey AIB and everyone on this automation, bot, AI, less people drive, let’s stop pretending… this is not a relationship and no advertising campaign can rescue this empty BS.
Getting simple things like important correspondence right, even in an automated world might just make a difference.
So, the ISAG (Independent Scientific Advocacy Group) last December were advocating for an approach (mostly known as Zero Covid), that they said would have us out of lockdown and enjoying some return to freedom on St. Patrick’s Day.
They were talking about a similar approach to how New Zealand had dealt with Covid, whereby we could potentially be enjoying a mask free life in our country, meeting friends, eating in restaurants, drinking in pubs, celebrating our special national day and most importantly getting “Back to Normal”.
I myself was a big advocate for the approach they were taking, as I believed it made total sense and was the only way for us to get out of our grave situation with minimum loss of life, health, jobs, damage to the economy and mental health.
I went as far as blogging about it, tweeting about it and even giving their team some pro-bono strategic guidance about their communications – we even did some design work to help simplify their messaging. I am not involved now, but I do support what they are doing.
Note: I was quiet surprised at the abuse I took in some quarters for supporting that approach and was even targeted by the “brilliant” Gript crew (…very strange). The “we are all in this together” horse bolted in April 2020 and still hasn’t come back!
On one hand we can now throw our eyes up to heaven and say the ISAG crew were talking rubbish and isn’t where we are right now proof that they were totally wrong
OR ..we can now look back and say they were spot on all along, and if only we had done what they said then, we would be in a pub with a creamy pint of Murphy’s toasting our national day and the end to the hardship we have all endured at varying levels.
So…were they right or were they wrong?
Let’s take a look..
What they were advocating for was:
An aggressive suppression of the virus by going into a sharp, decisive lockdown
Quarantining all visitors to the country for two weeks to ensure those entering were not introducing even more Covid and possible new variants
Some cooperation with Northern Ireland (who were in a worse mess at the time) about people moving between jurisdictions
An effective contact tracing regime to focus in on any cases that happen
A sensible opening up of the country on a county by county basis
While all of this initial effort seemed very extreme, a sacrifice by the population for two months or so could have us in a much better, enjoyable place for 2021 while we all waited for vaccines.
Initially many of the usual suspects argued that this “Zero Covid” crew were a bit nuts and what was being suggested just wasn’t possible here – as I said I took a small amount of that abuse for my small part in advocating for the approach.
When we look at what has happened since then until this St. Patrick’s Day (our supposed “freedom” day):
We came out of the October/November lockdown when there were still too many cases in the community (we stupidly allowed schools to stay open despite outbreaks)
We never controlled international travel or the border with the North
Christmas shopping and entertaining kicked in
The UK variant came to Ireland with all of the thousands of people returning home for Christmas and….
BOOM !!!
We had an explosion of Covid with an incredible amount of cases and the inevitable deaths that followed.
Suddenly that aggressive and inevitable lockdown was needed and there was no issue with the general public, we knew it was necessary and with that more and more people were seeing the sense that the ISAG crew were advocating for, except instead of a “hill” of Covid cases in the community that we needed to suppress it was suddenly a colossal “mountain”.
OK, we could still do what the ISAG were suggesting, but the scale of the problem meant the St. Patrick’s Day target was now unrealistic, but instead a few weeks later if we did the right thing.
What did we actually do?
We took the tough lockdown on the chin, including home schooling (sensible and necessary) – the only exception is that the lockdown period needed to be longer (how long will it be?)
And…a token effort to restrict “unnecessary” travel (as we know there are still thousands travelling each week unnecessarily)
And….despite the talk about hotel quarantining we still haven’t managed to put an arrangement in place
And….schools will return and the community spread will kick off again
And….we are stumbling through a vaccination programme (my 85 year old mum will receive her 2nd vaccination next Saturday , my 47 year old brother in New Jersey received his two weeks ago!)
The most significant problem since December is that the flights kept coming with all sorts of visitors from everywhere including new Covid variants from Brazil and other places.
A simple question may be asked: how bloody stupid are we in this country?
Basically, we can’t go beyond 5kms in Ireland, but you can go to Lanzarote!
As far back as last summer Ireland has been “so good” at putting restrictions on it’s citizens, but for some stupid reasons that I will never fathom we have to leave the back door open, which leaves us on this St. Patrick’s Day, not free but looking into a fog of uncertainty with no plan, a shambles of a vaccination rollout and staring down the barrel of a 2021 and even more hardship and economic devastation.
As well as the high number of deaths and sickness since December, the other very serious problem now is that people have lost patience and lost faith and compounded by extremely poor communications a very depressed country is ready to explode.
So, a big salute to the dedicated ISAG crew who persisted with their very simple, spot on approach that could have had us raising our glasses together in our favourite watering holes.
You were right, all along and for whatever political reasons those in power did not do the “5%” that would have us out of this mess.
As we start into a second full working week of the new year amidst a severe lockdown and an even more severe pandemic with outrageous Covid case numbers it looks like we need to remain on the Zoom for a while longer!
While we barely knew anything about this incredibly powerful communication tool this time last year and most likely had never used it, it’s amazing how quickly it has become a way of life.
Before this year I hated any visual meetings online, and part of that was the clunky software (I’m amazed how Skype never became more intuitive) and the unreliable performance.
I’m not sure if it was lucky timing, but when Covid sent us home in March it seemed to be Zoom or Microsoft Teams in pole position, and very quickly Zoom took a lead and became the standard, the easy one to use and before we knew it, the one most of us were using.
Even now, when I get an invite to a meeting or a webinar I find myself groaning when it is something other than Zoom, because now in this impatient age of ours we want to go click click click and we are in, 100% at ease and knowing what we are doing.
And since March, Zoom have been clever and we have seen better security and new features – I am now using it for meetings, and in Fuzion we have used it for events, training, webinars and workshops, complete with breakout rooms (another great feature), Q&A sessions and polls.
For training purposes alone it has been transformational – we quickly adapted and with a few little tricks of the trade (and humour) you can have a really engaging session with all participants.
I have also been using it for recording my podcasts and as long as the broadband is ok, it has been fantastic!
Making it work for you
Deirdre, the founder of Fuzion wrote a really excellent blog post early on last year about online meeting etiquette, and it gives some great tips about how you present yourself online and since then I wanted to add a few more tips as we get into even more of the subtleties.
Your Name
When you join the online meeting make sure that your name is right (proper spelling, use capital first letter for first name and surname- even if you are using someone else’s account you can rename yourself on entry) and maybe even consider adding your company name.
If it is a meeting with people from a number of different organisations or departments then make it easy for the others.
Who is in the Spotlight?
When the numbers of participants are high during a meeting then “spotlight” the speaker/speakers as it makes it much easier to see who the speakers are and it makes the session more interesting – even when they are screen sharing you can see just them as they present, instead of everyone.
This is a great feature in Zoom.
Meeting Room message!
As part of the improved Zoom security measures most people will end up in a “meeting room” before being left into the session – there is a facility in your settings to customise the message people will see while waiting in your room. Why not customise and add a little humour!
Where are you on the screen?
My own team just throw their eyes up to heaven (or wherever they like to go!) when I start to ask them where I am on their screen, as part of a silly game we play to break the lockdown monotony. On a serious note I do believe that where you are on the screen can be important.
If you are on the top row (having followed all of the other tips about looking good etc) you are probably better off than being on the bottom row when it comes to being noticed and gaining attention.
The first on the Zoom call occupy that space, and as long as you don’t turn off your video during the session for some reason you will stay in pole position!
For all of the tips and tricks that we have spoken about, and for all of the Zoom learning that we should have on board at this stage I am still amazed how many presenters are still not set up properly and we end up looking up their nose for the duration of their presentation.
..make sure that’s not you!
If you do land on the Zoom make sure you make a great impression!
Don’t you just hate those “dangerous people” who come to meetings because
– they ask the question you hope no one asks
– they don’t just go with the flow and nod their head politely at what is being said
– they are there to fulfil a role and not to be popular with the group
– through their actions they encourage others to speak their mind
– they provide another point of view and quite possibly an inconvenient one
– they can make you feel uncomfortable
– they might take the meeting in an unplanned direction
– they could cause the meeting to run over
– they might just result in making more work for everyone
Next time you have a meeting where you really want to trash out an issue, hold people accountable, get alternative views and maybe even arrive at a much better conclusion, make sure you have a dangerous person in the room..
Greg Canty Fuzion Blog 