Once again you find yourself having this conversation quietly in your head.
“I want to make a huge difference on this earth, I want to live a life with Real Purpose” but…..
…you have absolutely no idea what that purpose is !!
Well, instead of getting yourself all frustrated, how about channelling these thoughts and that positive intent in a very different and very achievable way.
How about choosing a number of people in your life who may be in need of help, a boost, a little support, some encouragement and quietly make them your purpose and without saying a word, give them exactly that.
Maybe it’s a family member, a buddy, a work colleague, or a neighbour who is struggling, who has gone off track for whatever reason and needs something from someone to make this time a little easier.
You can be that someone, and you might just be able to get them back on track.
While you are waiting to find your purpose how about being there for that other person so they might be better able to find theirs.
And if your “purpose” never knocks on your door, then maybe it’s not so bad as you have helped a lot of people along the way just when they needed it …. isn’t that a pretty good purpose to have?
When you meet Eleanor you just have to be struck by the “brightness” around her.
Every time she walks into a room, every time you bump into her on the street you notice the bright clothes that she wears, the warm smile and the positive, happy glow that will always leave you feeling a little better about yourself.
Eleanor O’Kelly Lynch runs a successful company called Golden Apple Training, which specialises in Sales and Customer Service training.
I met her for coffee one day, prompted by something really nice that she had commented on a blog post that I had written about my dad who passed away in January of this year.
Other than the “brightness” and the training company I knew very little about Eleanor and this quick coffee turned into the most revealing of conversations.
I learnt about a fantastic, proactive career but I was also staggered to hear about a rare, debilitating and very cruel disease that her daughter, Lauren has called CdLS. (about 40 people suffer from this in Ireland)
I’ll be honest with you and admit that I fought back the tears hearing about the life struggle that Eleanor has had in coping with Lauren, who she adores.
I wondered how could you cope a single day with this life challenge and how could you cope for 25 years and still manage to have the brightest disposition ever?
We (Fuzion Communications) were more than happy to give Eleanor and the CdLS organisation in Ireland a small hand promoting their National CdLS Awareness Day (12th May) but I also asked her to sit down with me to do a podcast.
I wanted to figure out the secret to being so bright and positive when life is just unbelievably cruel and challenging each and every single day.
I need to admit it to myself ..I’ve been a little down for the last month or so and it has affected me, my form, the way I have been towards others, my general outlook towards things and how I have reacted to some stuff that has gone on.
That cloud seemed to drift in from somewhere without me spotting it and it seemed to get a little darker and it managed to park itself right over my head.
I’ve tried to figure this cloud out and I put it down to a bunch of things, each in their own way probably feeding into the next thing.
I reckon it all started with Stevie Gerrard slipping against Chelsea in a crucial match, which led to a defeat and a Liverpool title win dream shattered. This stupidly got me down..I guess we invest emotionally in the things we care about and even though its just football it got to me. It makes no sense that a football team in a different country can mean so much to you but ..there you go!
Then there is the really irritating sore knee that came along out of the blue one day we were walking the dogs about two months ago. I thought it would clear up by itself naturally, I thought resting up while we were on holidays would sort it out but it didn’t.
This soreness has made the simple walks I took for granted every Saturday and Sunday with friends a misery, it has caused lots of irritating discomfort, it has limited what I have been able to do lately including what we were able to do when we were on holidays. The stupid thing still hasn’t got much better, which truthfully is making me feel like an old man. “Wear and tear” is what the doctor said after x-rays and an MRI. I’m trying all sorts of vitamins, ointments, exercises and shoe inserts to try to sort the damn thing.
A few other normal everyday work things got me down that I would normally just deal with and not let bother me. I’ve been cranky and those around me aren’t getting the best of me and I know it.
This is a strange place for me as I am normally very positive and can see the bright side in most things.
Logically I know everything is great and I know that I am one of the luckiest people alive. I have a great life, a fantastic wife, two incredible kids, a terrific family, great friends and a thriving business, that I am really proud of. My stupid knee I’m sure will be better in no time (hurry up will ya!) and Liverpool post Suarez ..lets see.
The cloud has cleared away and no doubt it will find someone else to park itself over, possibly someone with a lot more serious stuff going on than me.
This week I was at a really great event organised by the Diana Award, which is the only charity bearing the name of the former Princess of Wales inspired by her belief that young people have the power to change toe world for the better.
The event was held at the European Headquarters of Facebook in Dublin and it was part of the Diana Award schools Anti bullying programme. In their very effective programme they organise activities in schools to help eradicate bullying and as part of that they quite cleverly appoint and train anti-bullying ambassadors in the school.
The ambassadors are chosen from the students themselves and judging from the results we witnessed in the videos the programmes have been very effective. We were invited to the event because of our Safebook poster, which has been used by many of the participating schools as part of their anti cyber-bullying work.
There was one huge common thread to the speeches and stories that I heard on the day.
Tessy Ojo the CEO of Diana Award spoke about being bullied as a child because she was so tall.
Brian McFadden of Westlife fame spoke about being bullied because he liked stage and dance when all his schoolmates were playing football.
Young actor Will Poulter spoke about being bullied because he was into acting.
We heard some of the young children speak in the videos about being bullied because they had red hair, because they had freckles, because they were chubby or because they were black.
The one thing that pretty much everyone being bullied had in common was that they were different in some way – being different in any way can get you bullied!
I was chatting about this event with my son, Brendan and he sent me on a link to a video produced by a really popular guy online, 19 year old Cian Twomey about how he has been cyberbullied. Cian is really popular, producing funny clever videos and on Facebook alone he has built up a following of over 180,000 since late last year.
In his video he explains how along with huge numbers of followers he seems to be gathering ‘haters‘ as he gains in popularity, which really hurts him in particular when they get really nasty. One person was so horrible they even referred to Cian’s father who had recently passed away. Is this another case of someone being bullied because they are different?
Being different
Ironically in our work at Fuzion with clients the first thing we do with clients is find out how they are different!
Being different is what makes you stand out, it’s what makes you interesting – whether its a product, a service or the individuals involved we aways look for how these are different and this is where the magic is, that sets you and your business apart from from the competitors. This difference will get you media coverage and attention from customers and will contribute to your success.
The most successful musicians, artists, models, designers, products and services are the ones that are different.
So …if you are being bullied because you are a little bit different just realise that this is what makes you really special and in time you will be the one getting the right attention.
Vive la Différence (long live difference) as the French would say !
31 years ago this boy was a raw, innocent 18 year old working as a junior accountant in a mid sized accountancy practice on the South Mall in Cork. At this stage I was two months into my apprentice and I was learning the basics.
Ironically, I had done Economics and Business Organisation in secondary school so Accounting was brand new to me!
For every debit there had to be a corresponding credit was the golden rule – if you got that, your accounts would always balance. If they didn’t balance something was wrong and you had to search for your mistake.
It’s probably easier for everyone now with the computers and the accountancy packages – we had to do it all manually with ledgers in my day. Imagine trying to dig through that lot to find where you went wrong..
I was in practice for 6 years and then went onto industry and eventually swapped the accountancy role for a general management one and that was the official end of my debits and credits (except for my own projects at least).
That debits and credits discipline always stood to me and I do think accountancy and the privilege of working with so many businesses at at a young age was the best business degree anyone I could ever hope for.
You listen and learn from clients, you understand the drivers of their businesses and you use your expertise to help them. In many ways I do exactly the same now except the expertise is quite different and I don’t have to worry about those debits and credits.
The strange thing is that life is full of debits and credits and it too must balance and if it doesn’t something is wrong.
I’ve been working hard all morning …. head out for a nice coffee
My crew work their socks off …. take them for lunch on Friday
I’ve been stuck in that proposal for hours …. time for a stroll and fresh air
We’ve been working hard all year …. where will we go for our Christmas party?
Work, work, work …. spend time with friends, meet the kids, visit the folks
Busy doing stuff for everyone else …. get tickets for that gig
I’ve been working my socks off all year …. maybe a new car at the start of the year?
Whatever you do today make sure you balance your books!
It was a gorgeous summer Saturday in Cork and I was strolling around the city with Dee and my two kids.
Everyone was in great form and I knew I should have been but I was miserable and my head was bursting – work was killing me. I had been caught in the middle of a corporate crossfire for over two years between the joint owners and unfortunately this was a no win situation for me.
I was the General Manager and I could have had an easy life if I toed the line, kept my head down, settled for the status quo, played the politics and enjoyed the benefits. This wasn’t me ….I was miserable!
On that Saturday afternoon, 10 years ago I decided I was handing in my notice (handing back my new Saab and turning my back on a hefty salary) and it was the day Win Happy was born.
Win Happy
This has been my goal ever since – never again did I want to spend a minute feeling miserable about my work.
It is really important to me that happiness is at the heart of what I do every single day.
Happiness for me is working in a place that I love, doing work that I enjoy, with great people and for clients that I respect.
Utopia?
I guess in a way it is Utopian but why not have that as a goal?
I will be the first to admit that it isn’t always that way but mostly we get pretty close.
Happy..
I do love what I do (except for some horrible admin work every now and then), we work for who we want (we don’t answer to any head office or anything like that, we can accept or even reject work if we choose) and we have carefully chosen a group of really good people to work with.
Every Friday we break bread together as part of a sacred lunch routine we have, which we call Fuzion Friday.
I believe that if you get all of that right you end up with an atmosphere that creates the perfect conditions for great work ..for winning.
Win?
Happy is the first part of my philosophy. I am very driven and while I am not motivated by money I do want to be successful in our profession and this is where the satisfaction from Winning comes into it.
We work extremely hard and we keep ourselves up to date with trends and developments. We carefully choose talented people for our team and we make sure they understand the Fuzion way.
Together we work hard to get results for our clients even if this means us doing more than we are contracted for.
If a talented team, in a happy environment, work hard for clients then you should get lots of wins. Winning leads to more business – simple!
This philosophy has stood us well since the business started and in the 10 years that I have been with Fuzion we have continued to grow our business and our team, mostly with a smile.
Like most people I am very concerned about the whole topic of Cyberbullying and the effect it has been having on some of our young people.
After the tragic suicides recently we decided to do our part and we produced a simple info graphic called “safebook” , which is an easy guide for young people. Our objective was to encourage the safe and responsible use of social media and at the same time provide clear advice to people who may be faced with a bullying situation.
Our poster struck a chord with people all over the world – it’s been downloaded in over 100 countries, which I put down to its simplicity and I believe it is helping parents and teachers to have sensible conversations about the responsible use of social media with their children.
Our activity in this area has brought us into contact with many teachers, schools and organisations and I can see the considerable efforts that are being made to control and deal with the issue. I am watching the training programmes, I can see the liaison with the authorities and government agencies and I can see how schools are making attempts to block the use of these platforms and do their best to cope with the situation.
I have also heard presentations from Facebook who are attempting to deal with this huge issue, introduce controls and mechanisms to help people report incidents and inappropriate behaviour.
On one side I’m watching all of the downside – the social media concern, the “control” activity but what about the huge upside?
Social media is now a really valuable life skill that we all should learn – most of our clients would grab job applicants who are social media savvy. Is there a dilemma?
Teach not Preach!
From my considerable exposure to this huge Cyberbullying issue my conclusion is that we need to embrace the social media tools from a sensible, early age and we should encourage the positive use of these platforms in schools (probably the best place to ensure this happens).
How about:
– students publishing their essays on their own personal blogs
– classes that show the children how to set up their social media accounts including their privacy settings
– setting up Facebook groups for use by each of the classes
– setting up Twitter accounts for the Economics, History, Science and Geography classes and following and interacting with other relevant accounts to facilitate learning and staying up to date with current issues
At the same time I do feel that the social media providers must self regulate, put in the controls and aids, be proactive around privacy settings and act sensibly – however, the main solution is in the users hands.
While I know it won’t be easy, while I know it will require a lot of training, I know social media is a valuable skill, which will be critical to every young person in the future.
Why not concentrate on teaching and forget the preaching?
Oh my god, it’s all over the TV and radio – that image of the man with the mad hair, the big glasses and the ever present giant cigar.
Sir James Wilson Vincent Savile, OBE, KCSG was an English disc jockey, television presenter and media personality who passed away at the age of 84- this is how he is described on Wikipedia.
No doubt the description and the extra information that is generated about him on that site will expand and change quite substantially as the next few months unravel.
The investigations into the case will continue and no doubt the level of revelations will increase exponentially. This is a truly shocking case and it seems unbelievable that so many victims and witnesses stayed silent allowing this behaviour to continue over and over, drawing more and more innocent victims into his net.
Now that “Jim Will Fix It” is dead many victims and witnesses are prepared to divulge the most sordid of information about him.
Why could people not have opened their mouths earlier is an obvious question to ask? How many victims would have been saved from the most horrible, sordid, predatory experiences if this was the case?
The truth is people are and were frightened – would they be believed, would they be supported, would they be crushed for “speaking out” without sufficient proof, would they find themselves in trouble, would it be better to just stay silent? Even better .. I don’t want to get involved!
Some of the “silent many” were innocent and vulnerable victims. Others were senior media figures, his friends and his peers who lived through this period and in many cases according to reports actually witnessed some of the incidents.
Many innocent people paid a huge price for this silence in the case of Jimmy Saville. We are seeing so many other instances of people paying a huge price for silence in some many other areas. We help them to get away with their behaviour, we help them to be untouchable. The vulnerable must feel safe enough to talk and everyone else who knows better must be compelled to.
We need to look carefully at our legal systems, our values, our structures and figure out who we are really protecting ..
I was listening to the incredible song by Duran Duran “Come Undone“, which is on their excellent (1993) Wedding Album – the album is actually untitled but there are wedding photos (these are actually pictures of the band members parent’s wedding photos) on the cover!
This gorgeous song has some very profound lyrics that stop me in my tracks every time I hear them:
“Who do you need, who do you love, when you come undone?”
I think that is a huge question that we all should think about ..
What’s your answer? …..look after them, give them a call today.
Often at weekends we meet our great friends Tommy and Joan Doyle down at the gorgeous Ballincollig Park in Cork.
It’s a huge facility with the River Lee flowing through it, it has football fields, river walks and the ruins from the Gunpowder Mills can be seen as you explore the different spots at the park.
When we go there myself and Dee like to take a full route around the park, moving from the first football field, along the river, exploring the fields further back and coming back via the river letting Bing (our four legged creature) to have a little splash and a drink.
We wander back via the main entrance and have a cuppa and a bun at the fabulous Cafe Chico (Margaret runs a terrific little business there). It’s a nice route and for the most part we don’t revisit any part of the park.
When we meet up with Tommy and Joan we always end up having an argument – Tommy is obsessed with doing laps!! I can’t stand it ….he is happy to do a particular walk at the start of the park and repeat it 10 times.
Tommy is a true Irish GAA legend, winner of 7 senior All Ireland Medals with Kerry, so I guess he spent a lifetime doing laps as part of his training, which is engrained into him (we have a funny friendship as I have zero interest in GAA – we started as workmates).
Sometimes we win the argument and we get to take our route but often we end up doing his laps routine – it really is mindless repetition, it’s so boring, over and over. I really can’t stand it and only for Tommy’s colourful conversation (he is a great character despite his obsession with laps and routine) we’d never survive it! When we meet them in the evening it’s even a battle to get Tommy to go some place new or try something different.
I get really frustrated and it makes me wonder – why bother doing laps when you can go on a journey?
Isn’t life often like this as we can end up repeating ourselves over and over, the same routine, the same job, the same clients, the same restaurants, the same shops, the same holiday locations, the same walks on a Saturday!
Sometimes routine is safe, comforting and dependable but at times we do have to break out and try something new. In the current climate change was forced on a lot of us and often people will tell you that the change has been a breath of fresh air.
I reflect back on my own journey and in many respects it has been colourful with lots of interesting twists and turns both personal and professional and of course I probably have done a few laps too many in some cases!
What a Journey!
I think of my buddy Tommy and his obsession with laps and then when I Google him I see him holding up the Sam Maguire cup as Captain of the Kerry team in 1986 in front of a crowd of 60,000 people! How many have taken that journey?
Greg Canty Fuzion Blog 